Episode 5 Transcript

Mia: “Welcome to All The Little Things, the podcast where we explore the small changes that create a big impact. Today, we're diving into a topic that many of us struggle with, our relationship with screens. In a world where we're constantly connected, stepping away from our device can feel impossible. But what if taking a break from digital distractions is exactly what we need to regain focus, reduce stress, and reconnect with the things that truly matter? 

 

Brooke: We live in a time where social media, emails, and notifications demand our attention 24-7. Many of us start and end our days glued to our screen, often without realizing the toll it takes on our mental well-being and productivity. Studies have shown that excessive screen time can lead to anxiety, difficulty focusing, and even disrupt our sleep. But how do we break the cycle? And more importantly, how do we find the balance in a tech-driven world without feeling disconnected from work, family, and friends?” 

 

Kiki: “To explore this, we're joined by Emily Samimi, a certified life and health coach, who has spent years helping people build healthier, more balanced lives. Emily understands firsthand the impact that constant digital engagement can have on our well-being, and she is here to share insights, strategies, and personal stories that can help us all find ways to unplug and recharge. Emily, welcome to the show. I'd love to start by hearing about your journey. What sparked your passion for life and health coaching, and how did you get into this line of work? 

 

Emily: That's a great question and a very loaded question because I could go on about this journey of how I started in this world. Because honestly, it started from, really from childhood. I kind of realized from a very early age that I was someone who was deeply anxious and overwhelmed by pretty much everything, like my environment. And then obviously, as I grew up and social media came into the mix, even more overwhelming came through and more anxiety. And then once I started getting older and realizing my patterns and things that I was stopping myself from achieving in life because of all “of the mental health struggles I was facing, I finally decided I started to do something about it. And that's when I went into the line of self-healing. I started to go into learning all about wellness, especially when it comes to mental health. I learned about meditation. I learned hypnosis. I learned a bunch of different techniques to help me to calm my nervous system, regulate myself, to understand my thoughts, my patterns, my behaviors. And I really was able to start making changes when I started getting really connected with myself. And so that's when I was like, oh, I need to help other people do this. And once I started getting into coaching, I realized how many people struggle with a lot of the things I struggled with growing up, and how social media and so many other factors, the pressures of our world today, can create so much isolation, so much overwhelm, stress, anxiety. And so my commitment to my clients and to my audience on social media is to help people feel less alone, and to feel like they can take control over all of the anxious thoughts and things that come through. And “just to take ownership of their lives, that they can create new habits, new experiences for themselves, so that way they don't feel like they are a victim of their life. They can actually be an intentional creator of their lives. So that's kind of how I started, and that's kind of the journey I've been on. It's been an amazing one that I'm so grateful for because I can't imagine my life any other way now. 

 

Kiki: That's so amazing. So let's go a little bit deeper into the social media aspect. You not only use it as a personal platform, but as a business platform.” “How do you balance that with trying to stay authentic and open and also keeping your mental health in check and not kind of deteriorating from being in that world of everyone's perfect, everyone's trying to promote their best life? 

 

Emily: Yeah, that's... It's so funny because this is something, starting out in the beginning, when I first started posting consistently, I was posting every single day. I wasn't even thinking about it. I was just showing up as much as possible because I wanted to reach out to as many people as possible. And I really, at that time, wasn't even thinking about myself and my own mental health and my just like being able to take breaks. And I really burnt myself out, and I felt the effects of that a lot last year, actually, where I had to take a step back because I wasn't really taking care of myself. I was just always showing up on social media, always showing up for my clients. And I really, I just kind of get like, I don't know how to explain it, but I just felt the effects so deeply where I was like, wow, I'm abandoning myself right “now. I'm feeling so exhausted. I don't even want to show up on social media. And every time I would even go and scroll on social media and see other people, I would fall into this thing of like, oh my gosh, I'm not posting enough. I need to be posting like other people are. You know, there's people doing so many other things, especially when it comes to business, you're trying to reach as many people as possible. It became really overwhelming for me as someone who was posting so consistently for a few years and then all of a sudden felt like, oh my gosh, I did not give myself balance. I didn't really take care of myself during that time. So last year was definitely like a big eye opener, where I was like, okay, I need to structure this out differently. I need to do something that is more balanced. So now I really take breaks and I ask myself every day, I'm like, what's one thing I can do for myself that is off the screen, off social media, where I don't have to put all my focus and attention onto that.” “And then I also have a specific day or like, I'll commit to a couple hours where I do brainstorming for social media or I'll give myself a timer where I'll only scroll to get ideas from other people of, you know, things that spark my interest or spark my creativity. I'll go on and have like maybe, you know, 20 minutes where I'm scrolling and I'm just in the intention of, okay, I'm here to get inspiration for X, Y, Z. So for me, I'm struggling with creativity. I'm like, okay, I'm looking for things on mental health and how I can better support people. What are some, you know, reels or TikToks or whatever I can look at that are going to spark that inspiration? And so I'll give myself a time limit. And then once I have those ideas, I take those with me. I write down my own kind of version of it. And that's kind of how I start to take ownership of my time and my creativity. So I don't feel burnt out because I realized after the first few years of posting, I was just addicted to constantly looking at other Reels and “TikToks and trying to get ideas. And that was my intention always. But now I have a different perspective on how often I do it and having a little adjustment on the intention of why I'm scrolling. And that's why, or even posting. So that way I know that, okay, this isn't going to control me. I'm in control now. And that's really empowering. So that's my biggest suggestion is to have a time limit. And then also go into when you're scrolling or you're posting, go in with an intention so you're not losing time and you're not getting lost in it. 

 

Brooke: Now, going off that, Emily, I'm curious, because you spoke a little bit about screen addiction. But is there a psychological or emotional component to screen addiction that makes it particularly difficult to break? 

 

Emily: Yes, there is definitely. I mean, that's why TikTok and Instagram and YouTube, they're all designed to keep your attention. So everything is like a constant dopamine hit.” “And so we're becoming addicted because as human beings, we want to feel good. We want to get that dopamine, but we're getting it in artificial ways. And we're getting it from ways of like really, at the end of the day, it's comparing ourselves to other people. We're seeing people posting travel videos, and we're seeing people post what I eat in the days. And we start to go into our minds psychologically of like, okay, how can I do that? How can I get to that place? And even though it's great to have inspiration, it's great to see that people are doing all these things and showing us what's possible. That's a positive way of looking at it. There's the other side of it where someone who has a very different life, maybe who's like a student, who's studying all the time, is seeing all these videos and seeing this kind of social media all the time.” “They're going to feel like they're not good enough. But even if they're not feeling good enough, they're still going to be going through and scrolling because it's become such an addictive thing where they're still trying to get that dopamine no matter what, but they're relying all their dopamine on that. And then it kind of creates this persona or this identity of that person being like, oh, this is kind of the only way I can feel good is by living vicariously through others. And that's where they start to abandon their own life a lot of the time because they're like, oh, well, these other people have it and I want that, so I'm just going to live vicariously through them. And that's where it can be a little detrimental. But that's kind of where, again, that's what it's created for is they want people to keep watching. And so, there's this investment in other people's lives that has been created for us, where we're just constantly invested in other people's life and what they're doing and how they're looking and what they have. And that's where we get stuck in the cycle of constant dopamine addiction” 

 

Kiki: “I mean, I completely understand that. I know at least I can relate to the fact that I start scrolling on Instagram and then three hours passed, I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm still scrolling on Instagram. What happened to the day? When you're searching for those, I mean, we do this, you said, for the dopamine. And you were talking about how you had little things that you do once a day or once a week that kind of subsidize or maneuver you into a different path instead of going on social media. What are some of those things that could be like little changes that our listeners can put into their life to kind of transition them away from being on social media so much and away from kind of deteriorating a little bit on that app? Because after so long, you kind of just get stuck in a little hole. You don't want to do that. So what are some of your tips for that? 

 

Emily: Yeah, that's a great question. There are so many things. It's funny, we get so stuck in not feeling like we know what we want to do or what we can do “or what we can do outside of social media, just because we're constantly connected, and we're afraid of losing that connection. But there's so many ways of actually connecting with ourselves or even connecting with others physically who are in your lives. There's just so many ways and we forget about those. So some ways that specifically I connect, because again, I want to reiterate, because I don't think I mentioned this, but the more we connect on social media, the more we can feel disconnected from ourselves. And so in order to connect with yourself, you need to be taking a lot of time, just allowing yourself to be, first of all, bored and not constantly stimulated. And I'm not saying bored as in like, oh, this is so boring. I mean bored as in like, you don't have to have something captivate your attention all the time.”  “That's why mindfulness and meditation are some of the most beneficial, most important things you can do because it allows you to be still. You regulate your nervous system. You actually see what's coming up thought-wise to your mind because a lot of people don't wanna do meditation because they're like, oh, I don't wanna think about my thoughts. That's why people go on social media in the first place because they don't want to feel or think about what they're actually experiencing. They want to distract themselves. But meditation and mindfulness gets you to really be present in your thoughts, in your mind, in your body. And a lot of the time, people are so afraid of just allowing themselves to be with their thoughts. But I encourage anyone who's listening that it's actually the most safe thing you can do. Once you start to recognize what thoughts come up, you become less judgmental of yourself, and you start to just feel more connected to yourself and your body.” “And you start to connect with others more, because you're not so on edge, not so stressed out all the time. So I would say practicing that is number one. Reading books, I think reading is one of the most amazing things we can do, because we can get so much inspiration from the words we read, rather than just feeling like we're watching videos constantly. It doesn't give us the same dopamine hit, but it gives us this subtle feeling of like, oh, I'm feeling inspired. I'm like in this world that is being created. So books are just such an amazing tool to have. And then my favorite is spending time in nature. So going outside, taking deep breaths, connecting with the trees around you, connecting, even if it means going on a walk or going on a hike or depending on where you're at. If there's a body of water nearby, like maybe you can do something along the lines of swimming or just connecting with your body on that level.” “There's also journaling or even having creative hobbies. If there's something like, you know, like an art project you've always wanted to do, maybe you want to take a pottery class. Maybe you want to take an art class or you want to do like a fun crafts night with your friends. Do that. It's such a great way to connect with people. That's why I always recommend taking a class and doing creative hobbies with other people because it's such a fun way to be creative, but also like have fun and be with other people and have that energy. And then of course, having face-to-face conversations, starting to be really present with people around you, having deep conversations because if you think about how often we're on our screens and how that can so disconnect us from the people in our lives, it's really important that you start asking questions to people, diving deep, like being curious about what other people are doing in their lives, rather than being curious of people on social media who you don't actually personally know. You know, the people that you know in your life are the people that's most “important. That's the people you're supposed to be giving your energy to. So start asking questions, being curious, like getting to know people on a deeper level is going to create more connection for you and just to feel so much better and more present in your life. 

 

Brooke: That's amazing, Emily. So I'm just curious with all those different pieces of advice that you just gave, how can someone recognize when they need a digital detox? Are there any warning signs or are there any behaviors or habits that serve as red flags indicating that somebody definitely needs some time away from their screens?” 

 

Emily: “Absolutely. I would say the biggest ones are when you're feeling super anxious and stressed out. Exhaustion is like the biggest one if you find yourself feeling really drained after scrolling and you just are like, oh, I'm tired, but I still want to keep scrolling because it's still something that keeps my mind busy. That's when you know that you are addicted because you're just now seeking something. And what you're really seeking is something from within but you're seeking it externally. So that's when you know you need to go for a walk, you need to put your phone down, you need to get out of that particular state, and maybe shift your environment, shift your focus, shift your physiology. Something I forgot to mention was moving your body is one of the most important ways, most beneficial ways to recharge and to spend your time doing because it actually releases endorphins that are going to make you feel good. And you're going to feel really accomplished doing that versus scrolling on your phone for hours and hours on end. So those are the three things I would always say is when you know that you're feeling exhausted “, stressed out, anxious, irritated, that's when you know you need to change your physiology or change your environment or change your focus in some way. Put the phone down, go outside, do something that's totally different and you're going to see a huge change in your energy levels and how you feel about yourself. 

 

Kiki: Wow, Emily, that's a great point. Those are some great things to say. So this has been a very insightful conversation. Thank you again for talking to us. Before we wrap up, is there anything else that you'd like to share with our listeners? 

 

Emily: Yes. There's one last thing that I wanted to mention was how important it is the way you start your day. So if you're starting your day with immediately picking up your phone and scrolling, that's going to be the trajectory of your day. That's going to be the thing you're going to want to go towards throughout the day. So instead of starting your day with the screen, instead do something totally different. And I urge you to try something totally different.” “And whether that means stretching or doing meditation or going for a walk, or journaling, whatever it is, just try to do that one thing and start your day out differently and see how you feel and how maybe different you feel about wanting to go on social media. Because that's going to really help you break the habit. And then the second thing is in the evenings, when you're winding down for the night, I recommend doing a power down hour where you remove all screens before bed. And you just do something that really feels like it feels calming and regulating to your nervous system. So that could be prayer, it could be again, meditation, listening to calming music, making your space feel really nice and cozy and just focusing on yourself. I think what I said before about how we can feel so disconnected being on social media, it's really about connecting with yourself and to stop distracting yourself from your life because your life is so unbelievably beautiful. You're just not giving yourself the space to see it because maybe you're comparing yourself to other people that you're seeing online, but that isn't real. It's all “artificial. We're only showing the highlight reels of our days. We're not showing the things that are really going on behind the scenes that are difficult or challenging. So just remind yourself that your life, no matter what it is, if it's stressful or however you're feeling right now, it's more important that you're present with it. And so putting down the phone and doing a social media detox, even if that means a day, two days, or even just doing and starting small and just starting with the morning and not having your phone in the morning. It's going to do wonders for your mental health and you're going to actually see yourself improve socially. You're going to improve in school. You're going to improve in your job.” “You're going to become more successful because you've trained yourself to have that control and that way of being like, okay, I don't need the phone right now. I'm going to put it down and I'm going to focus specifically on whatever is happening right in front of me. And that's where your power is. And that's all I have to say about that. 

 

Kiki: Thank you so, so much. Where can our listeners find you and connect with you? Do you have any social media pages, websites, anything like that? 

 

Emily: Yes. So on social, on TikTok and Instagram, I am @ Passion Based. That's P-A-S-S-I-O-N-B-A-S-E-D. And my website is passionbasedcoaching.com. And that's where you'll find all of my, like everything that I do, all my services, all my blog posts, everything like that is all there. So you can check out some of the things that I talk about.” “And yeah, thank you so much for having me on here. 

 

Kiki: Emily, thank you for joining us today and sharing your expertise. Your passion for building others towards a more balanced and intentional life is truly inspiring. It's been wonderful to have you on this podcast. Remember to follow All The Little Things on Instagram at allthe__littlethings and check out our website, which is linked in our Instagram page. We hope you all enjoyed this episode and thank you for listening.”